I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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