Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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