its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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