i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize