My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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