We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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