Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize