Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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