He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize