how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize