i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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