Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like iHOP with fire
what is it with giant penises always finding me
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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