Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
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You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
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Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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