just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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