Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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