Can i not drive my cunt home
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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