just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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