you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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