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How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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