Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I didn't notice because vodka
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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