we're blogging at a bar
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
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I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
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My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
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