does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
How drunk are you?
Completed.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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