Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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