How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize