A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
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No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
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I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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