just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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