my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize