just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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