Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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