just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
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