Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
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