i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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