Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
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I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize