Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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