the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize