how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
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Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
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I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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