belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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