Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize