IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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