So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
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Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
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First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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