He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize