dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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