Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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