How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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