My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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