Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
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