Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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