You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
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I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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