also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
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And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
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I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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