My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
COCAINE IS GR8
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I wear drunk well.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize